July 18, 1999
Oh! Boom!

Oh! Boom!

The weekend started off on a relaxing note, as we all veged at my house for an hour Saturday morning, waiting for Barbara to bring all the food, and pretty much everything but the kitchen sink. It was a well needed nap, given most of the crew had been up late Friday night, buying those last minute camping supplies, Super Soakers and carefully packing. Uh, everyone accept for Alan, that is.

When we finally got everything packed and tied down, the 7 of us (Barb, Steve, Yianis, Chuck, Kris, Alan and myself) were off to Nevernever Land. But the dream was abruptly interrupted by the grotesque image of a hairy butt. I guess our only consequence was that we (Barb, Steve and myself) didn’t have to ride in a car that had a butt print on the window. Hmm, I can’t think of a better reason to sell a car.

Back to the drive.

Soon, we were detouring through Lockhart, in search of the best-rated barbecue in the country: Kruez Market. Mmm! Well worth the stop! No sides (just crackers), no barbecue sauce, no plates, not even any forks, but some home cookin’ (and Big Red) that could almost rival Barbara’s mastery of the culinary arts.

What a sight it was to finally see Enchanted Rock. Well worth the drive. And as we set up our “refugee tent camp”, we realized the extent of our over-shopping spree (5 tents-enough room for 12 people, 3 stoves plus fuel) and our under-shopping talent (not enough beer, not enough Super Soakers, not enough Alan coverage). But there was nothing that a quick trip to WalMart couldn’t solve.

And before long, we were playing horseshoes, hiking up Little Rock, and having massive water gun fights. Yeah, baby! I guess we really worked up an appetite as we soon chowed on Barb’s incredible pork chops and mashed potatoes. Mmm! I don’t eat this well in Houston! Later, it was the start of the endless quoting from “Austin Powers” and “South Park”. Enough already! Why does everyone think they’re sexy??? But at least we got a break with Yianis’ imitation of The Diceman! Just learn how to smoke next time.

By now, we were well fed, tired, and ready for a relaxing Saturday night in front of the campfire, for some star gazing and watching the raccoons rummage through our food. But the serene atmosphere was shattered by those unforgettable words: Oh Boom! Right in the face! Hahahahaha!!! (Poor raccoon.). My gosh Steve, I’ve never seen such animal instinct! Almost as intense as the look in Chuck’s eyes as he ran around with his Super Soaker, trying to maim anyone that dare oppose him! And here I was, stuck in a remote campsite with these menaces. Not sure if this was a good thing, or a bad thing.

In any case, by now, we were all exhausted from a full day, so we retired to our sleeping accommodations. Actually, only 4 people slept in the 12-person tent camp. Chuck, Yianis and Alan braved the elements (and the mountain lion) and camped out on the rock. You go girls!

Sunday morning was our first introduction to Kris in the morning. Wow. I mean, I’ve read about cases like this in The National Enquirer, but wow. Well, it was nothing that a good Barbie breakfast couldn’t cure. And then it was off on our hike up Enchanted Rock. Great view, nice weather, but pretty raunchy conversations, where I learned a new word that I immediately wanted to forget. The brief rain helped cool the heat, but also made the rock slippery enough for some butt sliding. But once it dried out, Alan donned the rock-climbing shoes and led us to some death-defying heights.

Pretty soon, all tired out from hiking, butt sliding, rock climbing, Austin Powers quoting, and water battles with our neighbors, it was time for, you guessed it, another beer run! But there’s always time for the good old Alan bashing session. “It’s almost dinner. I guess it’s time for Alan to start his regular rummage for utensils.” “For just ten cents a day, you can sponsor Alan, and get a postcard each month…”. And so on.

After a roasted pepper quesadilla meal, it was off into a pitch-black parking lot for some night football, before retiring once again to a roaring campfire. Not much going on that night, except for Chuck enjoying a little too much wine, and a hilarious ghost attack on Alan and Yianis as they slept on the rock. “Yaaa!” “Get off of me!!!”.

As Monday morning came around, the camp was buzzing with action, as we ate breakfast, packed up camp, cleaned the grounds, loaded the cars, planned the route home and listened to Alan thank everyone for lending him everything. Oh, and right about then, Kris woke up. Good morning!

Unfortunately, Yianis and Chuck had to head straight back to Houston, but the rest of us took a detour to New Braunfels for some toobing! What a great way to wrap up the trip. The water was a little cold, especially when it was time to relieve ourselves, but the beer cooler kept us happy (except for Steve’s camera). No major accidents, although we almost lost Kris in one of the rapids. Barb found my G-spot, and somehow lost her plaque in the process (Don’t ask). There was a dog that had more energy than all of us combined, we were being trailed by dumb and dumber, and there were just too many South Park quotes.

After a nice, relaxing dinner at the Grist Mill in Gruene, and we had finally run out of reasons to avoid the drive back to Houston.

What a vacation. No traffic, no crowds, no bugs, good weather, awesome hiking, fabulous food, great people and conversation, fun water fights and endless Austin Powers quotes. Life just don’t get no better than that!

July 1999

Posted by mbang at 01:13 PM